What if God had an Answering Machine?

Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's house. Please select one of the following four options:
Press 1 for requests.
Press 2 for thanksgiving.
Press 3 for complaints.
For all other inquiries, press 4.

What if God used the familiar excuse:
All of the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call on God in prayer?
If you'd like to speak with Gabriel, press 1.
For Michael, press 2.
For any other angel, press 3.
If you'd like King David to sing a psalm for you, press 6.
- To find out if your relative is here, enter his/her date of death and listen for the list that follows.
- For reservations at My Father's House, simply press the letters J-O-H-N, followed by the number 3-16
- For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's ark is... wait until you get here!
- Our computers show that you have called once today already. Please hang up immediately.
- This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again Monday.

Thank God, you can't call Him too often!!! You only need to ring once and God hears you. Because of Jesus, you never get a busy signal. God takes each call and knows each caller personally. When you call, the Lord will answer. When you cry for help, He will say: Here am I!

Are you waiting for his call
or will your answering machine talk to him?
If you listen carefully,
you will hear music in the background
and God singing,
I just called to say I love you!
I just called to say how much I care...."

by Rev. Paul Kummer
Pastor of the Grace Lutheran Church
Destin, Fl.

Emergency numbers to remember:
When in sorrow, call John 14
When men fail you, call Psalm 27
If you want to be fruitful, call John 15
When you have sinned, call Psalm 51
When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34
When you are in danger, call Psalm 91
When God seems far away, call Psalm 139
When your faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11
When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23
When you grow bitter and critical, call 1 Cor. 13
For Paul's secret to happiness, call Col. 3:12-17
For idea of Christianity, call 1 Cor. 5:15-19
When you feel down and out, call Romans 8:31-39
When you want peace and rest, call Matt. 11:25-30
When the world seems bigger than God, call Psalm 90
When you want Christian assurance, call Romans 8:1-30
When you leave home for labor or travel, call Psalm 121
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67
For a great invention/opportunity, call Isaiah 55
When you want courage for a task, call Joshua 1
How to get along with fellowmen, call Romans 12
When you think of investments/returns, call Mark 10
If you are depressed, call Psalm 27
If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37
If you're loosing confidence in people, call 1 Cor. 13
If people seem unkind, call John 15
If discouraged about your work, call Psalm 126
If you find the world growing small, and yourself great, Call Psalm 19

Emergency numbers are toll free, and may be dialed direct. No operator assistance is necessary. All lines are open to Heaven 24 hours a day!

"Feed your faith, and doubt will starve to death!"