Clearing out the Crud

(or Call A Plumber, My Heart's Stopped Up)

  don't pretend to understand the Universe - It's a great deal bigger than I am. - Thomas Carlyle

In the Beginning...

....There was God.

 That is what I was taught growing up as a Christian.  I was taught that God was wonderful, giving, caring and that we were sinners.  The church taught that we were wrong, bad from the start, awful sinners who deserved what they got.  God in his mercy had saved us, though.  Of course we would have to suffer first, but that was small potatoes compared to the riches we would have in Eternal Life with Him.  That started the questions for me. 

 I asked questions in Sunday School that made teachers uneasy.  I was quickly slapped down verbally.

- If God was so merciful, how could He be so vengeful, spiteful and cause so much suffering? 

- How could He love us but let us go to Hell if we didn't do what He wanted? How could he let us go period?

- How could the devil be stronger than God, able to take our souls from him? 

- If God was LOVE and wanted the best for us, how could he let us suffer through so much?

- Why did god act so human when he was supposed to be so much bigger and better than us?  He was supposed to be perfect in fact.  Would perfect love let us go, let us suffer?

- If Adam and Eve were the only people and had Cain and Able, where did Cain's wife come from?

 There were no answers, just people spouting the party line about their religion, or those who brushed me aside, unable to even think about something different than what they were taught.  I quit asking questions, especially from those who should know the answers, and set out to find out what I could.

 I went to houses of worship of different faiths.  I saw the differences and the similarities.  I began to read, I began to talk to God on my own to get answers.  I quit going to my church, because though it was pleasurable in some ways, it was incomprehensible to me for the most part.  One week teaching this, the next something that was the exact opposite.  And how the people believed. There was no thought, just the ritual and belief in what others, the priests and preachers and rabbis who they thought above them, taught.  I found my own way, my own God, or Source as I prefer.

 I quit being religious and found I was spiritual.  I learned how to feel closer to God, how to answer all those questions that bothered me, how to find happiness and contentment in almost every situation, with the knowledge that I can find it at all times when I am ready.  It is so simple.  Not always easy, but simple.  I have found my faith and lost my religion.

 I was a Christian, now I believe differently.  I believe that God is not the only name, or Christianity the only way.  The Essence of Life that I have come to know is way too big for one word or for one group of people to define.  The Source I know encompasses us all, loves us all.  So throughout this book, the word God or Source is a convenient one I use to try and name the un-nameable; Spirit, Supreme Being, Force, Creator, Divine Mind, God, Jehovah, Allah or whatever it is that you name in your own way, that's who I am talking about. 

 I believe in the "Supermarket Approach" to life. That is, when you go to a supermarket, there are tons of items you like and want, but there are as many or more items you don't want. You may look at the things you don't like, but then you put them back on the shelf, you don't "buy" them. You get the things you want. Sometimes you try something new and like it, sometimes not. The same goes for your life and what you learn and believe. You will "buy" some stuff, but not other stuff. There is no need to put down or denigrate what you personally don't like, just leave it there and go on.

When reading this, think of that approach. You probably won't like everything here. You won't "buy" it all, just go on to something else. No judgment, just choice.  Others who have written and spoke taught me and made me think, but I didn't “but” everything.  I like having the choice to make my own decisions, make my own way; hey that's what free will is all about!  So please do not get caught up in the distractions of words in general.  Use your heart to hear and translate what the eyes bring to the brain.  Open your heart up to a higher place and to whatever Power talks to you. That is the only thing that matters, your connection to your Source. Feel it and let it speak to you.  Link to your Source, and then read on.

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